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Everyone constantly deals with making decisions. The everyday
decisions such as what to wear are often easier to make. Decisions
such as whether to have sex or not are obviously more complicated.
Part of being a teenager is discovering what you want and deciding
what you are comfortable experiencing. Among the many issues teens
need to explore is sexuality. Making healthy decisions about when
you want to be intimate, who you want to be intimate with, how and
why, is essential and may be complex.
People make decisions in many different ways. Some ways
people make decisions are :
- Flip a coin
- Let others decide
- Do what other people are doing
- Don’t decide anything. Just let whatever is going to happen,
happen
- Impulsively (without thinking)
- Put it off until the last minute
- Look at all your options and the possible outcomes, then pick
the best choice for you
Many teens say things "just happen". But as a teenager,
you have the power to decide what you want to do. Take the time
to make well thought out decisions about what you want for yourself.
Consider the advantages and the disadvantages of your options. Make
a plan before putting any decisions into action.
When you´re a teenager, there´s a lot going on.
You´re developing physically and emotionally. There may be
lots of pressures and expectations (that you either put on yourself
or others put on you). This is all normal. Everyone goes through
it, but each person has their own experience. At times it all can
be challenging, so go easy on yourself.
Sometimes we have strong feelings and desires and then we act
upon them without thinking about the consequences. All actions have
consequences. Being sexually active can have many. There are emotional
consequences as well as STDs, HIV, and unplanned pregnancy.
Teens have sex for many reasons. You should take an honest look
at the reasons why you would consider having sex and reasons why
you wouldn’t consider having sex. When making a decision about
whether to have sex you can consider abstinence, non-penetrative
options or safer sex.
Abstinence is when a person chooses not to have vaginal sex, oral
sex, or anal sex.
Everyone has the right to be abstinent, even if they've had sex
before.
Someone who chooses to abstain should still learn about safer
sex.
Non-Penetrative Options (NPO's) are things people can do together
as an alternative to having sex. NPO's won't put you at risk for
pregnancy, STI's or HIV. NPO's are safe, sometimes sexy ways to
connect with someone. For NPO's like walking in the park or watching
TV, you may not need to set boundaries. Others, like massage, require
setting limits. It's important that you both agree to stop at a
certain point.
Non-Penetrative Options are safe because they do not include coming
in contact with body fluids such as blood, semen, pre-cum, breastmilk
or vaginal fluids. NPOs are not foreplay. You and your partner must
agree that they are not going to lead to sex.
is using a latex or
polyurethane barrier (a male condom, female condom or dental dam)
during oral, vaginal or anal sex to prevent contact with blood,
pre-cum, semen and vaginal fluids.
In making decisions, the most important
things to do are getting the facts and listening to your instincts.
Take a situation such as whether to have sex or not, which birth
control method to use or whether to have a baby now or wait and
then complete this information.
My situation is____________________________________
This is how I feel about it. ___________________________
What I want to get out of this decision is ______________
_______________________________________________
Here is a list of all my options: _______________________
One choice to consider from my list of options is_________
The pros/advantages for this choice are_______________
_______________________________________________
The cons/disadvantages for this choice are_____________
________________________________________________
Another choice from my list of options is ______________
The pros/advantages for this choice are_______________
_______________________________________________
The cons/disadvantages for this choice are_____________
________________________________________________
Things I should consider before making my decision include:
________________________________________________
Information I need to have before I make my decision
includes:_________________________________________
People I can turn to for support include: ________________
This decision will have an effect on my life because_______
________________________________________________
I believe the best decision for me is ___________________
My plan for carrying out my decision is _________________
________________________________________________
This will help you figure
out your likes and dislikes, and what you might feel comfortable
doing in the future. The good thing about making decisions is that
we can always re-evaluate and change our minds.
Making decisions may
be challenging, but it can help make your teenage years exciting
and fulfilling. At times it can be tough. So go easy on yourself.
Making decisions while staying physically, emotionally and mentally
well may require you to be patient, resist peer pressure, talk to
people you trust and have confidence in what you believe.
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